If someone
close to you reveals that he is worried about his mental health and wants to
take his own life, you could be in big trouble. At this point you think about
what to do next.
The question
is circulating these days, in part because of a channel four documentary about
the suicide of tv host Caroline flack last year.
In a BBC 3 documentary last week, tv host Roman Kemp also revealed what problems he
had with his own mental health. He also spoke openly about his close friend's
suicide.
Given the
importance of this topic, we spoke to Alex Dodd, an expert with the mental
health charity Samaritans, and asked what to do if someone told you he was
mentally ill.
Pay attention to what they say:
You can't
solve the problems of such people and you don't know what's going on in their
minds but if someone tells you that they have thoughts like suicide, always pay
full attention to it.
"it's
very important for such people that we provide them with an environment where
they are encouraged to speak openly and feel that you really want to help them,"
says Alex Dodd.
"The
hardest part is getting in touch with them so they can tell you how they feel."
"It's
natural for you to understand this person's thoughts according to your own mind,
but it's important for us not to do that and impose our thoughts on the other
person's words," Alex said.
Keep calm and don't say bad things:
"It's
one of the hardest jobs," says Alex, "especially when the person is
from your own family."
"People
just want to talk to you and they can't think of anything more. The best thing
to do is to stay calm. "
"The
point is, such people should be given an environment where they can talk and
not ask questions that make them feel bad about you."
"What will
the rest of the family think? How would they feel if you left this world?"
asking such questions will make such people feel that you are judging them.
"They will
shut their mouths and not talk to you again."
Ask light questions:
The first thing Alex does is thank the callers and tell them she's here to help. She guesses in words what the caller is feeling and then reassures them to say more.
"A good
way to talk to someone is to not ask them tough questions, for example, can you
tell me why you feel that way?" what happened that led you to this
conclusion?
She says
there is nothing wrong with asking if these people know that there are
organizations to help them and if they have ever received help from an
organization.
"So you
try to get to the bottom of it by asking questions here and there and finding
out why that person thinks he doesn't want to live anymore."
But don't ask
questions all the time.
"Actually,
your job is to give this person a chance to speak, to give them silence and to
let them out."
Help by holding hands if needed
Maybe our
natural reaction is that we want to hug this person but the real thing is to
make them feel calm (talking).
"Some
people don't like to be hugged, they just want you to stay away from them.
"But if
you are close to this person and you know it would be nice to hug him, don't be
afraid to hold his hand."
According to Alex, human relationships are a great thing because they act as a bridge and
let other people know that someone is with them.
Guide for more help
Alex suggests
that it may be best to advise such people to see a doctor and contact a support
organization.
Alex Dodd is associated with an organization called the Samaritans.
He says the
final decision on what to do next is up to the individual, not you.
"But if
such people are talking to you, it is an indication that they want help and
want to follow your advice."
"Emotions
are only temporary, so the real job is to get to the point where people
themselves say, 'yeah, that would be my next step."
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